Post #3: B.Y.O.D. (Build Your Own Dalek) 🛸
An ode to imagination: How our fantastical whims and frivolous hobbies can be keys to resilience when the going gets tough. Plus a birthday recap... Lordy, Lordy, I just turned 40!
Hello, Friends!
I hope the first few weeks of January have gone well for you! Life feels unusually pregnant with possibility in my world, because on Sunday, January 21st, I turned 40... A new decade! From what I hear, it's a good one. In fact, my mom recently told me that the 40's was her favorite decade so far! She said that in the 40's you know your own mind, you shed your insecurities and the fear of missing out, yet you still have the energy and motivation to pursue your passions and dreams. Maybe that has just been her experience, but I'm willing to give it an optimistic go. Celebrations, commence!
Entering The Middle Ages
Turning 40 feels like a big milestone, so I decided to do it up properly! Ironically, Paul and I had both recovered from COVID at the end of December, so I figured January was about the safest month for us to party, immunity-wise. And party we did! We're now back to masking after our Month of Freedom, but it was fun while it lasted…
On Saturday night I threw a 1940's themed party with close friends, siblings and cousins... The costumes made everything feel much fancier! On Sunday night, my actual birthday, I had dinner at my parents' house with my parents and my Auntie Barb's family (Barb's birthday is the day before mine). And the icing on the cake was receiving many lovely birthday messages over text and social media all weekend long. It was a truly wonderful birthday; I feel incredibly grateful for the people in my life.
But that's not all: earlier this month, Paul and I went to CONsole Room (the Doctor Who Convention in Minneapolis) as an early birthday present! Nerdy? Yes! I mean, I led eight panel discussions & dressed as an alien for the weekend… But fun? OH, YES!
The Imagination: Adventures Through Time and Space
If you follow me on Twitter (or know me in real life), you may be aware of the fact that I adore the long-running British Sci-Fi television show called Doctor Who. But it was actually Paul who started following it back in 2012. He valiantly tried to get me to watch it with him... But either he didn't sell it well enough, or I was too busy playing in three bands, or I was just stubborn. But for some reason I simply wouldn’t do it!
Fast forward eight years: We'd gotten married, I'd won NPR Music's Tiny Desk Contest, we had sold our house, and we were touring full time with my music. Until suddenly we weren't. The pandemic sprang up in March 2020 and put everything on hold. After being on the road nonstop for over three years, we were suddenly 100% stationary, bouncing off the walls of our (very small) studio apartment in Duluth, MN.
Because I am high-risk for COVID complications due to my extremely tiny lungs, we took (still take) precautions very seriously. And this is when, for the first time in my life, I realized the therapeutic value of imagination. I mean, I have always been an imaginative person, which is one reason I absolutely adore hanging out with kids… I love making up stories with them and encouraging their fantastical whims.
Imagination as a Key to Resilience
B.C. (Before COVID), imagination had just seemed like a fun lens through which to view the world. But during lock-down and the months (and years) that followed, it became an essential tool for changing the way I felt about the stifling, day-to-day monotony of my near-solitary lifestyle. Instead of always feeling like a trapped disabled person in a world that sent very mixed messages about the importance of protecting those most vulnerable to the virus (to put it mildly), I now had the magic ability to switch the TV channel of my mind. If I wanted to, I could pretend I was a princess warrior exiled to the rocky shores of Lake Superior for rigorous spiritual training until I emerged, stronger than ever before (in case you can’t tell, I was reading a lot of King Arthur-themed literature during the first year of the pandemic).
This flight of fancy didn't change the facts, but it made my situation more palatable. It helped to give me fortitude to keep going. It allowed me to tap into a deep gratitude that, even though there were lots of objectively horrible things happening (which, by the way, is always the case if you look for them), I had a cozy apartment, a loving husband, and the beautiful lake to keep me company. I could be aware of and try to alleviate the suffering around me, but it didn’t have to hold me hostage all the time.
And at night, Paul and I created a little routine where we'd each pour a wee heavy ale, sit down in front of our fake fireplace and listen to the Queen's Speech about carrying on (it was about four minutes long), then we'd blast bagpipe tunes and Scottish folk music. Every night, I pretended I was off in the UK with Paul, and it really did help.
“Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan!”
That's around the time Doctor Who entered into my life. One night, we were deciding what to watch, and Paul suggested Doctor Who. Though I felt an inexplicable surge of resistance, I stifled it and let my wifely compassion take over. Surely, at least once and awhile, Paul should get to pick the TV for the night? So I benevolently agreed, and we started with the very first episode of the 2005 reboot, where the Doctor saves Rose from animated shop-window mannequins controlled by Nestene Consciousness.
I am still not exactly sure why, but I was hooked immediately. We watched three episodes in a row. Soon after, Doctor Who Night became a weekly tradition. It would start with Sunday Supper - we'd cook ravioli, meatballs in marinara, green beans, garlic bread and we'd pour red wine and have dark chocolate for dessert. This delicious feast would be our weekly date night, followed by a few episodes of Doctor Who. Once a week, we had something special to look forward to, which was a big deal.
These date nights became a staple of our relationship, something we have kept (for the most part) even through today. We blew through Doctor Who on these Sunday night binges. We watched all 13 seasons front to back, and then when there were no new episodes to watch, we started again from the beginning. We dabbled in the audio books. We listened to podcasts like Radio Free Skaro and Verity... We even read Lungbarrow! (A deep cut for the hardcore Whovians). After awhile, 90% of our inside jokes revolved around Doctor Who. For Christmas and birthdays, we gave each other gifts of Doctor Who apparel. We descended deep into the rabbit hole that is Fandom.
Entering Fandom: There’s No Turning Back!
For those first two years, we tried to keep our love of Doctor Who slightly under wraps. After all, our inordinate devotion to a science-fiction TV show seemed a little strange to the "regular" humans in our lives. You could tell they were humoring us when it came up in conversation, eager to move on. We hadn't yet found "our people", those who could discuss Doctor Who endlessly and not grow weary. But early in 2023, Paul discovered the Minneapolis Doctor Who Convention (CONsole Room) was on my birthday, and that masks were required (I love how caring this community can be). We decided to attend. And there, for the first time, we met people who loved this well-written, hilarious, adventurous and touching show as much as we did. We struck gold!
Now I still feel a little bashful about gushing profusely about something as technically inconsequential as a TV show. There’s so much going on in the ‘“real world” — lots of work to do! Isn't the show a distraction from reality? Yes, of course. But I also believe Doctor Who can fuel the imagination in a way that is healing, refreshing, and joyful.
This is Not a Post about Benedict Cumberbatch
Last year I read a memoir by Tabitha Caravan called "This is Not a Book about Benedict Cumberbatch: The Joy of Loving Something — Anything — Like Your Life Depends on It" that really transformed the way I viewed my "silly" obsession with Doctor Who. The author challenged us to reclaim the things that bring us joy, to revel in them, because play is a natural and oft-overlooked part of the human experience. She even ties it into feminism in a way that felt totally liberating and a little surprising. I am not gonna recap it here for you, because I honestly want you to go read it!
Needless to say, the book gave me permission to own my identity as a Doctor Who Fan-Girl. But I also now have more compassion for other people's quirky obsessions, whether it is People Magazine (my sister), Taylor Swift (one of my best friends), The Jonas Brothers (my cousin) or Fantasy Football (my cousin's husband). It's okay (great!) for you to delight in what makes you feel good! If it's FUN and it makes you HAPPY and it's generally HARMLESS, then the world would not be any worse off for you spending a few hours a week geeking out. In fact, the more people who listen to and follow their passions would likely result in a more creative, joyful, open-minded world!
What’s more, we don't need to judge each other for our hobbies, even — especially — if our interests don't align. Giving people the space to own their Fandoms is part of accepting others, is part of embracing diversity. Doctor Who is the best show ever, in my humble opinion, but you might hate it! That's okay, as long as you let me geek out without shame or fear. And I owe the same to you, the freedom to love what you love.
“You Would Make a Good Dalek.” (No, Really, You Would!)
Which brings me to the crux of this post. We just went to CONsole Room again this month. Except this time, instead of being a timid observer, I participated with reckless abandon. I led panel discussions, I took in lectures, I discussed and laughed about and debated all things Doctor Who into the wee hours of the morning, I sang Doctor Who-themed karaoke, and I even dressed as a Dalek. This was my Dad's idea (he helped me to assemble the costume) — and it was just too funny to resist. We use a plunger, whisk, mixing bowl, flashlight, and jar lids to make a sort of "kitchen sink" Dalek. It was campy as heck, but I got Honorable Mention in the costume contest!
My parents even attended the convention with us, much to my delight! Yes, I am proud to say they have joined the Whovian Fold. This latest CONsole Room was a highlight of the past 12 months, yet it had nothing to do with my professional or artistic pursuits. It was simply just for fun, seemingly frivolous, but in reality taking time to revel in my hobbies has been extremely valuable. Gatherings like that remind me there is much more to life than mere productivity, that relationships are not a means to an end, and that the joy of being human lies in connection and passion.
So whatever your passion is, may you make room for it to blossom in 2024. May you find the folks who share your interests so you can experience the delight of nerding out in a way that only true fans can do. And, just as importantly, may we all cut each other a little more slack when it comes to our personal tastes in hobbies, food, music, clothes... You name it! Let's allow ourselves to indulge in our imaginations more often.
Because as The Doctor once said, "Whole worlds pivot on acts of imagination."
So, what are you waiting for? Allons-y!
Exhibit A — The Evolution of a Dalek:
REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
What is your secret (or not so secret!) brand of Fandom? Do you make time to regularly connect with this interest? If not, how could you start?
Do you feel any embarrassment about expressing the love of your Fandom? If so, what feels like a teeny, tiny step you could take to express your unique interest? In her book, Tabitha Caravan suggests starting small, like adding a button to your lapel or your backpack, just to dip your toes in!
Have you ever noticed yourself judging someone because of their hobbies or preferences? If you dig deep enough, can you turn the tables — think of something you may like that’s not for everyone? How can you give both yourself and others a little more compassion and understanding around our quirks?
Have you ever used imagination to help you cope with difficult times? Or even to enhance good times? What are your beliefs around imagination?
How can you build a little more of what makes you feel good into your daily or weekly routine? Remember, your happiness is not a frivolous luxury, as it colors the way you interact with the people around you in a myriad of untold ways!
Growing up as a kid in 1970s Britain, we all watched Dr Who, it was a huge part of our lives. When the reboot came, a few episodes in, I realised that I actually loved the Doctor, like an old friend. And now, of course, howl love crying at an accessible Tardis (well, almost, those double-cambered swoopy bits won't work) and hoping Shirley Anne Bingham makes a regular appearance (praying for a UNIT spinoff with all those great woman, surely this has to happen).
As for my imagination, as a person often housebound by ME I can drift off for hours creating an exciting world and though at times I've chastised myself for lingering too long, I'm now luxuriating in it and using it to fuel my creativity in the real world xxxx
Hi Gaelynn,
Thanks so much for retweeting my tweet about us getting down to the facts soon about Doctor Who's Davros and the newer displays of disabled characters in our beloved Dalek universe. I'm looking forward to it and what I secretly hope is that it will get the attention of Russell Davies, the show runner because I would love to see you interview him. I know you want to and I want that too! We can at least try!
Also, if you have seen me mentioning Camille and Kennerly Kitt, aka 'The Harp Twins'. I'm going to interview them in May before their US tour.
Cheers from Cali!
Greg