Post 27: Time & The Purposeful Living Matrix ⏳
A reflection on how we spend our precious time on this planet.
Hello, Friends!
I hope your day has been great so far! I am trying something new this afternoon, a bit of a quick post of insight that I had this morning that I want to share with you before the idea escapes me. This is something I have been meaning to try for the past several months — but I always let other things take over my time, and the posts go unwritten.
How to I Decide What to Say “Yes” to in Life?
Yesterday I had a great intro call with a coach and author named Peter Schulte. He was helping me to discern what projects to say “yes” to as an artistic entrepreneur. He said that most of the time, we are motivated by one of three things: Wants (the good kind! What your HEART is telling you to pursue), “Shoulds” (the internal pressure-cooking needs to be perfect or do everything right), and Cravings (your addictions and compulsions). So, as an artist, the goal is to think about each potential project through this lens, and only say yes to the ones that align with your Wants: Your Heart’s desires.
Life is short, Peter said — yet if we put our creative energy into only the things that matter to us, we will make the most impact as artists. Authentic art will help more people and be a bigger, more enduring gift to the world than chasing money and fame!
* As an aside, my husband Paul & I were talking about this today and he showed me a very cool quote by Robert Bucholz in a Great Courses lecture on Western Civilization: “Power does not last — even Superpowers. Art and Culture do.” Inspiring, eh? The National Endowment for the Arts expressed a similar sentiment when they wrote: “While economies can fluctuate and even collapse, arts and culture often endure and even thrive, providing a sense of identity, community, and inspiration that transcends economic hardship.”
Your Mission Statement: Listening to Your Heart’s Desires
This morning I was thinking about this idea of Wants, as my Heart’s desires. I actually do have my “Wants” pretty well figured out, thanks to lots of journaling and reflection each year (P.S. I love the visioning workbooks by Year Compass and Fairhaven Farm).
My mission statement is this: “To grow in integrity, love, and gratitude. To help others grow by creating (and sharing) art & ideas at the intersection of beautiful, useful & compassionate.”
But still, how do you truly discern if a project falls in the Heart’s Desire Camp?
Introducing The Purposeful Living Matrix
Well, this morning I created a little matrix to help me figure out where to spend the hours of my “one wild and precious life” (to quote Mary Oliver) — and I wanted to share it with you, too in case it can be a useful time-management tool! When making the Purposeful Living Matrix, I realized that I would need to add a fourth column for Needs. As much as I’d love to be creative all day long, at some point I’ll get evicted if I don’t remember to pay my rent, or I’ll face legal consequences if I don’t pay taxes. But still, it’s not a battle between Needs or Wants… It’s a time management balancing act!
Another coach I really like is named Brendon Burchard, and he posits that to live a fulfilling life, you need to spend 60% of your waking hours on what he calls needle-moving activities. This isn’t necessarily work-related stuff, it’s Heart’s Desires stuff. The other 40% can go to your daily life, like the things you need to survive and function.
Now, as a disabled artist, I am well aware that sometimes life or medical emergencies or illness happens and essentially 100% of your time gets sucked into basic survival. So for the purposes of this essay, I am only applying this 60/40 ratio to the theoretical framework of choosing how you get to spend your time, knowing that there are periods of life when that choice becomes constricted by our body-minds (although I would argue we are rarely ever without any choice at all — even small, daily choices add up!)
Just Say No: Fear and Ego in the Form of “Shoulds” and Cravings
Once I figured out my wants and needs, I realized I’d need to address my darker instincts… My Shoulds and Cravings. Listing them out in the Matrix helped me to see how easy it is for me to convince myself that a “Should” is really a “Want” — fear often causes me to cling to misaligned commitments and I look for ways to justify it.
At the root of all Shoulds and Cravings is Fear, which is a tool of our ego to keep us from recognizing our expansive, universal, loving nature. For example, a big way fear stops me is that I am often afraid to say “No” because I fear the consequences. But, as Peter Schulte reminded me yesterday, every time I say yes to a project not aligned with my Heart’s Desire or my Higher Calling or my Mission Statement, it ends up stealing time and energy away from the very things my soul is meant to create. Through that lens, the trade-off becomes much clearer! I don’t want to sacrifice my Spirit’s most valuable contributions to this world at the altar of Shoulds or Cravings.
P.S. Here’s My Purposeful Living Matrix… What’s Yours?
Below is the breakdown of my Purposeful Living Matrix… What would yours look like if you mapped it out? I am sure there’d be at least some overlap, but we are each unique! If you do decide to try this exercise, please drop me a line to let me know if it’s a helpful tool for evaluating new projects… And feel free to share this with friends!
WANTS: Heart’s Desires (60%)
To help others grow by creating & sharing art & ideas at the intersection of useful, beautiful & compassionate
To explore the world, and experience connection, joy and love in all its forms.
To live creatively, kindly & with integrity
To appreciate beauty. To create music, writing & art from an inspired place.
To live an enriching & fulfilling life.
NEEDS: Survival & Daily Life (40%)
Food
Shelter
Clothing
Relationships
Health
Taxes / Bills / Financial Management
Healthcare
Necessary Paperwork
SHOULDS: Guilt & Shame (Fear / Ego- 0%)
Social Events Not Aligning with Wants
Creative Work that Doesn’t Inspire You
Expectations from Others that are Not Aligned with Your Heart’s Desires
Internal Pressure to be “Perfect”
Cultural Indoctrination or Expectations
Pursuit of Wealth or Power - Greed
Fear of Loss of Status or Popularity
Fearing Being Disliked or Disrespected
CRAVING: Including Addictions (Ego / Fear - 0%)
Drugs / Alcohol (especially to escape)
Junk Food (especially when consuming these foods goes against your goals)
Social Media / Mindless Internet Use
Shopping / Consumerism / Consumption
Being Booked or Busy as a Compulsion
The Need to Be Liked or Respected
The Need to Be Seen as an Expert
Inertia / Hedonism (especially when it feels bad to you or in control of you)
Ok, that’s it for now, Friends! Have a wonderful, purposefully-lived day… Thanks for reading and for your support on this Substack, and keep in touch!
Love,
Gaelynn Lea