Post #5: What the Caterpillar Knows đ
Thoughts on nurturing the seeds of compassion during dark times. Plus, my paid subscribers can request a personalized snail-mail postcard for themselves or a friend!
âThe wings of transformation are born of patience and struggle.â (Janet S. Dickens)
Hello, Friends!
I hope you had a good week! Mine was yet again filled with writing my memoir⌠I just started Chapter 7 yesterday! Last weekend Paul & I went to the Duluth Playhouse for Murder on the Orient Express - it was FABULOUS and FUN the set design & lighting really stood out. Career-wise, I donât have any gigs lined up until April, and then only one! Itâs weird being so stationary as I write my book. Thatâs one reason Iâm glad that I started this Substack - itâs a fun project to turn to when my brain needs a diversion. đ
Doom-Scrolling vs. Humanity
After several months of attempting to ignore it, I finally started listening to the news again this week. I am not proud to admit it, but I checked out there for awhile. I just didnât know what to do: every time I scrolled the headlines, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. So instead I relied on Paul to fill me in on the biggest news stories.
But as a former poli sci major (nope, not music!) I wasnât really comfortable being that disengaged. So I made a line-up of short podcasts to listen to every morning while I drink my coffee, taking care to steer clear from the more sensationalized outlets. Now I can know whatâs going on in the world⌠It takes about 30 minutes total. They are:
Duluth News Tribune Minute (5 min)
Minnesota Today (5 min)
NPR News Now (5 min)
The Christian Science Monitor Daily (15 min)
These podcasts do a good job of keeping me up to date on the big stories without winding me up unnecessarily. I infinitely prefer taking in news that was curated by professionals specifically to inform rather than subjecting myself to the algorithmic lottery on Google orâGod forbidâsocial media. [Side note: If youâre curious about the monetization and algorithmization of our attention, I highly recommend you read the book Filterworld â itâll make you wary of any ânews feedsâ or âFor Youâ sections.]
There is admittedly a lot of bad stuff going on in the world... To make matters worse, the news is often framed as unprecedented, even apocalyptic (on every side). It seems to be polarizing us in a very scary way... How can we have a functional society if we refuse to compromise, if we swear each other off, if we declare âthe otherâ our enemy?
The Wisdom of the Butterfly
This is where the butterfly painting comes in⌠Earlier this week, I felt compelled to get out my watercolors (the urge strikes somewhat randomly), and the butterfly above was the end result. That night, I felt the need to connect with something lovely and gentle. However, in addition to being beautiful, the butterfly is also a potent symbol for transformation â its magic lies in emerging from the âdark night of the soulâ.
It seems like our society is going through its own âdark night of the soulâ â you can feel it whenever we end up talking about Gaza, the election, climate change, COVID, healthcare, or the economy. Personally, when these topics come up, I can feel myself grow twitchy, frustrated and angry as a nearly automatic response. Other people just seem so heavy-laden and sad⌠And some seem without hope for the future. Weâre all dealing with a lot of traumatic news day after day, while simply trying to carry on with our lives as best we can. How will we see our way through this human chrysalis?
Committing to the Practice of Gratitude
I donât pretend to have the answers for others, but I realized that, personally, I needed to adjust the focus of my mental lens. I needed to zoom out from the topics that were hooking me into negative emotions. What could I be grateful for in my life right now?
I believe that for every horrible event on earth, there are an equal number of small wonders and tender kindnesses. To fail to notice them, or to refuse to celebrate them, is to tell only half the story of being human. The fabric of our daily lives contain both sadness and difficulty, to be sure, but there are strands of beauty woven in there too.
So I rebooted my gratitude journal and added in the book Simple Abundance to my daily devotionals. Both have helped me regain a sense of balance and gratitude in the here and now. I am reminded to cherish this moment, even as I work for the future, and that there are concrete ways I can spread kindness and love on this very day.
Reaffirming my Commitment to the Principles of Love and Compassion
Iâd also noticed something disconcerting over the past several months⌠I had begun to question whether love and compassion were really strong enough to save us from ourselves. The ideals Iâd so long cherished had started to seem naive, even Pollyanna, compared to todayâs rhetoric. This was a red flag that I was watering the wrong seeds. This reminded me of the beautiful writings by Thich Nhat Hanh in Your True Home:
âWhether we have happiness or not depends on the seeds in our consciousness. If our seeds of compassion, understanding, and love are strong, those qualities will be able to manifest in us. If the seeds of anger, hostility, and sadness in us are strong, then we will experience much suffering. To understand others, we have to be aware of the quality of the seeds in their store consciousness. We need to remember that they are not solely responsible for those seeds. Their ancestors, parents, and society are co-responsible for the quality of the seeds in their consciousness. When we understand this, we can feel compassion for them. We can also identify the positive seeds that we want to water every day, and train ourselves not to water the negative ones⌠Even a few days of this practice can bring about a transformation in us.â
So even though theyâre not flashy or headline-grabbing, I believe love and compassion are truly vital forces for good in our world â in fact, I believe these qualities alone can pave a viable path to peace. Love is the glue and the grease of any relationship, of any society. And if compassion is absent, how can people build up trust, loyalty, or cooperation? When the going gets tough, hollow relationships will always crumble. Without love, equal rights and justice are just temporary truces in a never-ending war.
The Universalism of Diversity
As a disability activist, itâs my bedrock belief that all humans are of equal worth, and thus we are all deserving of love, compassion, kindness, and respect. In turn, I believe that no one deserves to be treated inhumanely, or with cruelty, or without respect for their inherent value⌠born just as they are. We are each unique expressions of the human race, in all its beautiful diversity. I call this the âuniversalism of diversityâ.
This is why I want every person, regardless of their disability (the diverse body or mind they inhabit), to have access to housing, healthcare, employment, transportation, community and recreation. Just as importantly, disabled people should be treated with respect, as whole people who are deserving of love, friendship, freedom and adventure.
But it canât just stop at disability. If every person has equal worth, that includes people of every race, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation or class. I know that because of my specific life experiences and limited education, I still have areas where I need to learn more about how to be a better ally to people whose situations differ from mine. Nonetheless, I strive to make my life and work as inclusive and respectful as possible. Everyone deserves to feel safe and valued in their communities and in the world.
But it canât just stop at marginalized groups. If every person has equal worth, that includes people who are not oppressed. And it also includes people with whom I fundamentally disagree in politics, religion or lifestyle choices. And even the bullies and the criminals! No one is exempt from having inherent value or deserving love.
Now, let me be clear: having love and compassion for others does not mean you turn into a doormat. Out of self-respect, itâs important to have boundaries, remove yourself from unsafe situations when necessary, and stand up for your rights. But when we are asserting ourselves (or defending our position), we donât have to treat the other person as lesser-than. We can acknowledge their full person-hood and attempt to respond to them from a place of love and compassion. I also understand that violence is real, and that sometimes weâre just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But the goal remains: âIf possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.â (Romans 12:18)
Loving Your Enemies Matters Just as Much as Loving Your Friends
Jesus told his followers to love their enemies. He said itâs easy to love the people who love you back â but that we should also love the people who donât return the favor. Because in reality, thatâs when it matters most. If we donât tenderly nurture our seeds of love and compassion when we are trapped in the dark, claustrophobic shells of pain and loneliness, our souls will shrivel. Weâll never emerge as those beautiful butterflies.
One of the greatest lessons Iâve learned in life so far is this: There is no relationship, however strained, that is ever completely beyond repair. Indeed, it takes courage and honesty to fix broken bonds⌠But one day when you least expect it, you may find this courage and honesty does, in fact, arrive. In those rare but beautiful moments, you can finally put down your shields and begin again. My hope for each of us is that the next time we come face-to-face with our âenemyâ, weâll be able to respond to them with grace, love and compassion. Maybe weâll be able to listen to each other, and really hear.
So often, hurt people hurt people. But I believe our best hope for inner peace and for the peace of humanity is to finally break this cycle of âotheringâ. As Henri Nouwen wrote in Bread for the Journey, we have to be willing to âstep over our anger and our painâ so we can find common ground and begin the work. Healing our communities will take effort, time, trust-building, and compromise⌠But the higher road is worth it.
âPerhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful.â (Unknown)
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